Entrepreneurship

How being a people pleaser affects growth

Dan Nicholson

Being a "people pleaser" often leads individuals to set aside their own desires in favor of satisfying the needs and expectations of others. While this trait can sometimes be beneficial in fostering positive relationships, it can potentially limit your business success. Let's explore how breaking away from people-pleasing habits can help you get closer to the things you really want in business and in life.

What does people pleasing in business look like?

This behavior could manifest in various forms, such as always agreeing with colleagues or superiors, even when their viewpoints are contrary to your own, in an attempt to avoid conflict. It could also involve taking on more tasks than you can reasonably handle to show willingness and commitment, thereby overloading yourself and possibly compromising the quality of your work.

People pleasers in business also tend to be excessively accommodating, often going out of their way to help others while neglecting their own priorities. They are often seen sacrificing their personal time, regularly working late hours, and volunteering for assignments nobody else wants to do, just to be seen in a positive light by their peers or superiors. Moreover, they have a hard time saying 'no', even when the task is beyond their bandwidth or expertise. 

Taking Charge of Your Choices

Your choices reflect your priorities, and it's essential to assert your own needs and desires when making decisions. People pleasers often make concessions to maintain harmony, which may lead to an unfulfilled life and stagnated business growth. Breaking away from this habit means consciously making choices that align with your personal or business goals, not just to meet the expectations of others. This shift empowers you to navigate toward the outcomes you genuinely desire.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

People pleasers tend to overextend themselves in an effort to meet others' demands, often at the cost of their own well-being and productivity. Setting clear, healthy boundaries is a vital step in breaking away from this pattern. With boundaries in place, you can prioritize tasks and projects that are beneficial for your business and personal growth, enabling you to move closer to your true aspirations.

Cultivating a Mindset of Authenticity

People pleasers often sacrifice their authenticity to maintain harmony or secure approval. This habit can hinder personal and business growth as it limits innovation, originality, and self-expression. By cultivating a mindset of authenticity, you can voice your unique ideas and perspectives, encouraging creativity and paving the way towards the realization of your true potential.

Developing Self-Confidence

A hallmark of people-pleasing is a lack of self-confidence, leading individuals to seek validation externally rather than from within. Shifting away from this tendency involves building self-confidence. By developing trust in your abilities and decisions, you can operate independently of others' opinions, allowing you to pursue what truly aligns with your aspirations.

Embracing Discomfort

Discomfort often accompanies change, and when you stop people-pleasing, you'll likely face moments of discomfort when others' expectations aren't met. Embracing this discomfort as part of the growth process allows you to build resilience and stay committed to your true path, even when it's challenging.

Learning to Say No

Finally, saying "no" is crucial to break away from being a people pleaser. It can be hard to decline requests, but remember that every "yes" to others could be a "no" to yourself and your goals. By learning to say "no" when necessary, you open more opportunities to say "yes" to the things that get you closer to the things you want the most..

In conclusion, while it can be challenging to shift away from people-pleasing, doing so can lead to personal and business success that truly aligns with your aspirations. By taking charge of your choices, establishing healthy boundaries, and cultivating authenticity, you can develop a lifestyle that genuinely reflects your desires and brings you closer to the things you really want. Commit to playing your own game.

Pause and reflect:

  • Can you recall a time when being a "people pleaser" limited your ability to make a decision that was best for your personal or professional growth? 
  • What strategies can you apply to start asserting your own needs and desires when making choices, especially in a business setting?
  • How would you define healthy boundaries in a business context? Can you provide examples of these boundaries?
  • How comfortable are you with saying "no" to tasks or commitments that don't align with your business goals?

Dan Nicholson is the author of “Rigging the Game: How to Achieve Financial Certainty, Navigate Risk and Make Money on Your Own Terms,” deemed a best-seller by USA Today and The Wall Street Journal. In addition to founding the award-winning accounting and financial consulting firm Nth Degree CPAs, Dan has created and run multiple small businesses, including Certainty U and the Certified Certainty Advisor program.

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