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Alcohol has long been intertwined with social rituals and relationships. For many, it’s the lubricant used to ease into social situations through teenage years, college, and beyond. Its presence in our lives is bolstered by a billion-dollar industry interested in keeping a drink in our hands, despite the science that reveals the health downsides of alcohol consumption. What’s more, new research shows that drinking habits within couples can impact not just their bond but also their longevity. It’s a Catch-22, in many ways. We like things that are bad for us and pay attention to data that says it really does forge connections. Understanding these dynamics amid shifting drinking trends that challenge traditional norms unveils intriguing insights into modern relationships.
Shared Drinking Habits Can Lead to Longevity
Research from the University of Michigan, led by Kira Birditt, illuminates the link between shared alcohol consumption and extended lifespans. The study, published in The Gerontologist, found that couples who engage in similar drinking patterns, as opposed to discordant drinking habits (where one partner drinks and the other doesn’t, for example), tend to experience better marital outcomes and potentially live longer.
“The purpose of this study was to look at alcohol use in couples in the Health and Retirement Study and the implications for mortality,” Birditt said. “And we found, interestingly, that couples in which both indicated drinking alcohol in the last three months lived longer than the other couples that either both indicated not drinking or had discordant drinking patterns in which one drank, and the other did not.”
Birditt's study underscores the importance of understanding how spouses influence each other's health behaviors. “We’ve also found in other studies that couples who drink together tend to have better relationship quality, and it might be because it increases intimacy,” Birditt said.
The caveat, however, is that behaviors that are good for marriage are not necessarily good for health, Birditt says. While the findings suggest a potential correlation between shared alcohol consumption and longevity, it's not a recommendation to drink more. The study defined “drinking” very broadly, and Birditt says that more research needs to be done to evaluate the lives of concordant drinking couples for health outcomes, rather than marital happiness. “What are their daily lives like? Are they drinking together? What are they doing when they are drinking?” questions Birditt. Those things might actually be the root of better bonds—and better aligns with recent alcohol consumption trends as a whole.
Relationship Dynamics in the Sober Curious Movement
Contrary to the narrative of couples bonding over drinks, societal trends reveal a shift in drinking behaviors, particularly among Gen Z and millennials. The rise of the "sober curious" movement, characterized by a preference for mindfulness, health, and wellness over excessive alcohol consumption. According to a study published in JAMA Pediatrics in 2020, the percentage of college students aged 18 to 22 in the United States who stated that they refrained from drinking alcohol rose from 20% in 2002 to 28% in 2018. The number of people choosing to opt out of alcohol, whether temporarily or permanently, has grown, and with it, the normalization of being alcohol-free. Restaurants have expanded mocktail lists, sober bars are on the rise, and non-alcoholic bottle shops are popping up in most major cities.
So what do we make of a study that says couples who drink together, stay together? Much of it is about ritual and bonding, says Colleen Myles, an associate professor studying fermented landscapes at Texas State University. “They want to be in this ambiance, around the music, for example, with other people that are there,” Myles said. “They also want to be a part of the social fabric.”
Most customers of non-alcoholic beverages are not necessarily cutting out alcohol entirely, just in certain situations. Cory Atkinson, who co-owns The Zero Co and the alcoholic bottle store Elemental Spirits Co with his wife Malory, and who still drinks, said he used to have a beer or two while cooking, but he now reaches for non-alcoholic options instead. “My mind wants that experience and wants that ritual,” Atkinson said. “But my body is like, ‘I don’t really need the alcohol for that.’”
The core belief of the sober curious movement is that people desire connection to community, to their partner, and to the activity they’re participating in over the connection to alcohol itself. Yes, it’s a physically healthier choice not to drink, but what continues to evolve is its role in our social lives. Research can point to trends, but ultimately, it’s our personal choices with alcohol and our commitments to our relationships that dictate healthy bonds.
Conclusion
While research suggests that couples who drink together may experience enhanced intimacy and potentially longer lifespans, it's essential to approach these findings with caution. The rise of the sober curious movement underscores a shifting cultural landscape, where individuals prioritize mindfulness, health, and wellness over traditional drinking rituals. Understanding the underlying dynamics of relationship rituals amid changing trends offers valuable insights into modern relationships, emphasizing the importance of alignment and communication within partnerships. As society navigates the complexities of alcohol's role in relationships, the quest for genuine connection remains at the forefront, transcending the confines of alcohol consumption itself.
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