“Should" Statements: The Cognitive Distortion Influencing Business Decision Making

In the realm of cognitive distortions, "should" statements stand as a prominent influence over our decision-making processes. These self-imposed mandates can cloud our judgment, pushing us toward unrealistic goals and inducing unnecessary stress. More importantly, "should" statements can create barriers to achieving the things we truly want in life. However, by understanding and reshaping these distortions, we can foster a sense of certainty, streamline our decision-making, and inch closer to our genuine desires.

https://youtu.be/IOrmS8vJDQw

- TED Talk from Dean Furness

Understanding "Should" Statements

"Should" statements refer to the set of rules we internally construct about how we and others must behave. These rigid mental constructs can stifle our flexibility and growth, creating a tunnel vision that obscures alternative pathways to success. In essence, they are dictatorial mandates that can warp our perception of reality and inhibit our potential for achieving personal or professional goals.

For instance, if you're a business owner, you might be trapped in thoughts like, "I should always be working," or "I should never make mistakes." These unrealistic expectations can spur chronic stress and self-criticism, hindering your ability to make sound decisions that could lead to growth and success.

Impacts of "Should" Statements

The consequences of this cognitive distortion can be severe, particularly in the realm of decision-making. They can foster an environment of guilt, disappointment, and fear, shaping our choices around avoidance of perceived failure rather than the pursuit of success.

Moreover, "should" statements can breed a toxic perfectionism that paralyzes our ability to make decisions. When we're consumed with the notion of how things should be, we can overlook opportunities that could bring us closer to our true desires. It's like wearing a blindfold – we limit our ability to see and seize diverse avenues of progress.

Overcoming "Should" Statements for Greater Certainty

Mastering "should" statements involves retraining our minds to recognize these cognitive distortions and counter them with a more realistic and compassionate mindset. Here's how:

1. Identify "Should" Statements: Begin by noticing when you use "should" in your thoughts or speech. Reflect on why you have these expectations and whether they are helpful or restrictive.

2. Challenge "Should" Statements: Once you've identified these statements, question them. Are they realistic? Are they helpful? Could there be a more constructive way to frame the thought?

3. Reframe "Should" Statements: Replace these mandates with phrases that express desire, preference, or open-mindedness. For instance, "I should always be working" could become "It's beneficial to have a balance between work and leisure."

By taking control of this cognitive distortion, you can foster an environment of certainty within yourself. You transition from a space of obligation and limitation to one of possibility and open-mindedness. This shift can illuminate new paths toward your goals, enabling more informed decision-making that aligns with your true desires.

In conclusion, while "should" statements can heavily influence our decisions and restrict us from realizing our full potential, overcoming them opens doors to a more certain, productive, and satisfying life. So, liberate yourself from the chains of "should" and step closer to the things you genuinely want.

Pause and reflect:

• Can you identify any "should" statements that frequently appear in your thoughts or speech? How do they impact your decision-making?

• Do you believe that "should" statements might be holding you back from achieving your desires? Why or why not?

• How do you think reframing "should" statements could help bring more certainty in your life and decision-making process?

• Are there any techniques or strategies you use to challenge and reframe your "should" statements? Could these be beneficial to others?